Postcards and Polaroids
by emojis
Summary: A Paramore/Tayley fic.  Taylor is pretty much in love with Hayley. The only problem; she's dating his best friend.  But when Josh breaks up with Hayley, Taylor tries to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.  And slowly, he begins to lose himself.
1. Chapter 1

one - I know it hurts to watch me leave.

Sniffling a bit, Hayley tossed the tissue onto the floor; the mountain really was getting quite ridiculous. But she couldn't stop the tears. They were everflowing, like a faucet turned on and then the handle broke. And sitting on her bed, in the midst of all her band posters and polaroids, she wanted to scratch away at the walls. Everything in here reminded her of him. And she hated it.

Really, what right did he have? To accuse her of that? Of _cheating _on him with his _best friend, _who also happened to be one of her close friends as well? Some of the things Josh had told her (well...yelled at her, really) had made no sense to her. What had he meant by "the looks you two give each other" or "all the alone time you spend together"? She looked at Taylor the way she'd always looked at Taylor. She didn't think he looked at her any different either. And as for alone time, what else did he expect? She and Taylor had started a band not soon after they had met, after talking for a while and seeing they were both into the same artists and played instruments. They were just friends. All of his accusations were completely moot.

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Because it did. It felt like her heart had been ripped out and stomped on, eaten away by all of the venom in his words. She loved Josh, with every fibre of her being, and for him to even fathom that she was capable of cheating on him was killing her.

Somewhere in the midst of her thinking the tears stopped, and she was left staring blankly at her Jimmy Eat World poster as mewithoutYou shuffled onto her iHome. An idea flickered into her mind, a malicious one, one that she probably never would have thought of if she had been a bit more emotionally stable. But the idea was buzzing around now, and a dull voice in the back of her mind whispered, "_prove him right. what have you go to lose now?"_

_besides your best friend._

She shook away her conscience and reached over to grab her phone from the bedside table. She had 12 missed calls; luckily, all of them were from the person she was about to call right now.

One ring, two rings.

He answered quickly and sounded worried beyond belief.

"Hay? Are you okay? I heard what happened from...how are you feeling? Do you need me to come over?"

She ran a hand through her pale blonde hair. "I'll be over there in 10."


	2. Chapter 2

two - how could you ever replace me?

Taylor had been pacing his room for near 2 hours after hanging up with Josh. He couldn't believe the things that his best friend (if he could even still call him that) had accused him of. Did Josh really think he was that terrible? To fool around with his best friend's girlfriend? Who also happened to be one of his best friends as well. It didn't make any sense to him. I mean, sure, maybe he did have a little crush on Hayley. He had since he met her. And really, who could blame him? She was cute, funny, smart, into all the same music as he was, played guitar and piano, sang like nobody's business. She was a total catch. But that didn't mean Taylor would stoop as low as messing around with her when she wasn't his. He was a better person than that.

But still, Josh's harsh words were bouncing around his skull. Particularly the last sentence he snarled before Taylor heard the dial tone.

And just so you know, you'll never replace me.

It had been an unexpected stab at Taylor's heart. He had just sat frozen with the phone still next to his ear. He hadn't really been thinking of...replacing Josh. No, he hadn't been. It was far too soon to even consider that. Hayley was still...Hayley. How had he forgotten about the girl that quickly? She was undoubtedly a mess, having just been dumped out of the blue. Had Josh accused her of the same things he had just accused Taylor of? He clenched his hand around the phone tightly. It made him angry to think about that. She didn't deserve those accusations. She loved Josh with everything; a blind person could see that.

That thought made Taylor's heart lurch, his stomach become a bit sick. But he pushed it aside and looked down to his phone, dialing the number he knew by heart.

One ring, two rings, three rings, four.

Hey, you've got Hayley here. I can't come to my phone right now, but leave me a message and I might call you back.

He hung up and immediately hit redial. He was greeted four rings later by the same message. Redial, voicemail. Redial, voicemail. He repeated the action for what seemed like hours, but in reality, was only 20 minutes. He gave up after the 12th try, tossing his phone to the bedside table and throwing himself down on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

How had all of this even happened? Yesterday was perfect; the three of them had gone to the county fair together. They'd had a blast. At least, Taylor had. Hayley had lugged her old camera with her; it was one of those dinosaurs that spit out polaroids. Josh had tried time and time to get her a nice digital camera, so it was more convenient for her, but she refused. Taylor knew why.

There was a dull thud on the other line and Hayley shuffled quickly, dropping her phone down on the bed sheets.

"Hay? You okay?"

She came back a few seconds later, tampering with something, if the soft clicking was any indication.

"My camera fell off the desk. Something popped out. Ugh, please don't be broken..."

Taylor chuckled to himself. She was always worried about that camera.

"Why don't you just let Josh get you a new camera?" he asked her. His best friend had been trying for forever to get the girl a nice digital camera. Josh had been planning on surprising her for her birthday with a little purple Nikkon he purchased on a secret trip to the mall with Taylor.

"I don't need a new camera," she said, voice indicating she was only half listening to the voice on the other line.

"I think your current situation begs to differ," he laughed.

There was a final click on the other line and Hayley sighed. "Got it."

Taylor rolled his eyes. "You're too stubborn. It's only a matter of time before it breaks for good."

There was pause, and Taylor could feel Hayley looking around her room shiftily, probably looking at all the polaroids she had taped to her walls.

"My dad gave me this camera, remember?"

Taylor's breath caught in his throat. He had totally forgotten. Hayley rarely talked about her father; in fact, he thought that maybe he was the only person she every talked to about him. Whenever Josh would ask what had happened to her father, she would freeze and refuse to talk anymore. Eventually, Josh gave up trying.

But Taylor hadn't, and he had pressed and urged her gently until she had told him at one of their band practices.

Hayley's dad had been in the air force, but on his off times while at home, he would take the girl to different cities and states, snapping pictures with his old polaroid camera. She had been everywhere with him; the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, the Great Lakes, Mount Rushmore. She had begun to fondly remember the times, reaching into her bag and pulling out a handful of polaroids, passing them to Taylor. They were ones he'd never seen before, and he realized quickly that that was probably because they were always in the girl's bag. There was one of her in front of a sign that said "Welcome to Forks", shooting two thumbs up at the camera. He chuckled to himself; she did love those Twilight books. In another, she was on a beach with a surfboard stuck in the sand next to her. On the other side of the board was a man; Taylor guessed that was her father. He looked hearty, like a real family man, and the way he was looking over at his daughter indicated that he loved her with everything. He looked at her like the world revolved around her.

"That one was the last picture I took with him," she had spoken up, her voice beginning to shake. "When we got home...he sat me and mom down for a talk. He told us that...he was going to be doing some work over in Afghanistan."

She sniffed and chuckled lightly.

"I was...possibly the dumbest 13 year old ever, because I didn't see what the big deal about it was. He'd been farther away that, I didn't get why Mom was crying so much or why Dad was looking like it was the end of the world. But I figured, it had to mean something big, because then he reached over and grabbed the camera. This camera...he loved the camera, he had bought it when he went over to France with his dad when he was a kid. But, he reached over and he grabbed the camera and he said, 'Hey, Spongebob, I want you to have this. I know you know how to use it, you know how to take care of it. I want you to have it.' Cue my denial, I started yelling, crying, pleading. Him..giving me the camera meant that he might not come back. I couldn't...I couldn't deal with that. I went and I...locked myself in my room. I wouldn't come out, not when mom told me dinner was ready, not when dad came to the door to tell me he was leaving. I was so hurt, it was like...it felt like he was giving up. I mean, if I knew that the biggest war in the whole freaking world was going on over there, I would have realized why. But I didn't...so I didn't."

The tears were streaming down her face now. Taylor wanted to do nothing but reach over and envelope her in a hug; she didn't need to finish, he already knew how this would end. But she wasn't looking at him anymore, instead staring at the polaroids in his hands. This was the first time she had talked about this to anyone, and she felt she needed to get it all out.

"I didn't even say a proper goodbye to him. I just stayed in my room and pouted. When I eventually did come out, Mom was a wreck. She couldn't do anything without bursting into tears and I eventually started having to make dinner for us, go grocery shopping for us."

She wiped her face off quickly with the back of her hand.

"After a few months of this routine, we got the call. A...missle hit his plane and...no one survived."

Her face twisted with the memory.

"My mom...she said she couldn't stay in the house anymore. I really couldn't blame her, there were too many...memories in the house. Too many memories left to torture us. We packed up our stuff and we moved here."

Somewhere in the midst of his thinking he had fallen asleep, and was awoken by a knock on his door. His older brother, Justin poked his head in.

"Mom wants to go out to eat and wants to know if you're coming," he informed Taylor.

Taylor sighed and ran a rough hand over his face. "No, I think I'll stay here. I'm not really in the mood."

Justin shut the door just as the sound of mewithoutYou began blasting from Taylor's phone. He recognized Hayley's ringtone and grabbed the phone quickly, answering and failing to contain the worry in his voice.

"Hay? Are you okay? I heard what happened from...how are you feeling? Do you need me to come over?"

There was a pause, and Taylor could see her running a hand through her pale blonde hair.

"I'll be over there in 10."


	3. Chapter 3

three - you're so shy when you wanna be.

Hayley lived 3 blocks away from Taylor. It had always been convenient when she would come up with a song in the middle of the night and they'd have emergency band meetings to jot her ideas down before they disappeared with the night, or times when she would drop her camera and come to his window in a panic, hysterical, begging him to fix it. There had been a few nights where she had simply spent the night, because it had been far too late for her to walk back home. Those had been the nights when Taylor had sat up and watched her sleep, thinking, "How am I so lucky?"

But then he would remember that she wasn't his, and the thought would fizzle away.

Taylor was just about delve into a whole new round of aimless thoughts when he heard the familiar peck on the window. He turned around quick to see the girl slipping her fingers underneath the bottom of the window. He learned to keep the window unlocked and cracked a bit, for times when she would come unannounced.

He moved over the window quickly as she climbed her way over the sill. She was in all black; black skinnies, a black hoodie zipped up to her neck with the hood pulled over her blonde hair, and black Chucks. When she landed on both feet on the floor and straighted up to face him, her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks and nose were tinted pink. She had been crying. A lot.

Taylor immediately pulled her into a smothering hug, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and using one hand to stroke her hair softly. She immediately began crying again, wrapping her arms around his waist in a vice grip and soaking his shoulder. In the back of her mind, she remembered her plan, the whole reason for her coming over, but it was quickly forgotten as a new wave of sorrow washed over her.

Taylor's hugs had always had the power to make her spill whatever heavy emotions she was feeling, and right now, all she felt was sorrow. Pity for herself. Josh had been the first real, close thing to her heart, since her dad had died. Well...Josh and Taylor.

And then the plan was back in the forefront of her mind. She pulled back out of the hug slightly, and didn't even waste time gauging his facial expression before she was smashing their lips together and pushing Taylor towards his bed.

Taylor had been too surprised by the action to initially do anything. But once he realized that, yeah, the girl who he was crazy about, who had just been dumped by his best friend was kissing him, he was conflicted as to what to do. But when he felt her tongue run over his bottom lip and then felt a tear hit his cheek, he pushed her back and grabbed her shoulders, holding her at arms length so he could look at her.

She was standing there gnawing her bottom lip, looking like a child who had done something wrong, hands still in fists from where they had been clutching his tshirt. She refused to make eye contact with him.

"Hayley," he said. And he hadn't meant for his voice to sound so rough, but he guessed that maybe it had been too harsh for the girl, because she burst into a fresh bought of tears. She tore her shoulders away from his grip and turned around, heading back for the window.

"I shouldn't have come here," she said through her tears. "I'm stupid. I'll just...go."

Taylor moved quick, reaching to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her back to his chest. "Don't go. Nicky, just talk to me. Please, just talk."

Hayley froze in his grip. Had he just called her what she thought he had? Nicky. The girl hadn't heard that nickname in years; since she was 13.

"Nicky, I'm leaving. Last chance to give your old man a hug," Mr. Williams had chuckled out. He didn't think he would make any progress though; he and his wife had been trying for almost a full day to get the girl to leave her room, and to no avail. The only sign that she was still alive in the room was the sound of music blaring from her iHome.

"Nicky, come on," the man sighed, running a rough hand over his face. "Just talk to me."

The song changed, but that was the only indication that someone was in the room.

The man sighed and turned around to face his wife. "She doesn't want to talk to me, hun. Just...just, whenever she does come out...remind her that I love her."

He could see the glossy look of his wife's eyes before he had even finished. And with the last three words the tears were spilling over and she was hugging him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her hair. "I love you too. Always. Forever."

Hayley turned around and pulled herself out of Taylor's grip. He looked stricken, like maybe he had said the wrong thing and she would leave for sure now. But she walked around him and sat down on his bed, kicking her chucks off and pulling her legs up so they were crossed underneath her. She looked up and made eye contact with him for the first time since she arrived. Her eyes looked sadder than before, and Taylor hadn't thought that was possible.

"Josh thinks we've been fooling around," she said simply, playing with a loose fray on his bedspread. "He's, um...heh, he's convinced we've been fucking behind his back. So I figured...why not prove him right? I mean, it's...only a matter of time before I lose you too. I should make the most of it."

Taylor had been shaking his head from the moment she started speaking. He moved to kneel down in front of her, putting his hands on her knees so he could catch her eyes, and she looked scared. Like she wasn't even sure what she was talking about.

"You're not going to lose me," he said. "You don't...have to do this. We both know Josh was wrong. You don't need to give him the satisfaction. Look, I...want to be there for you. I want to be whatever you need; a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with. Hayley Nichole, I love you. And you don't need to rush into anything because I'm not going anywhere."

And of all the statements Taylor had ever made in his life, he meant that one with every fibre of his being.

Hayley's eyes were glossy again, and she moved a hand to grip his tightly.

"Can we just...sleep?" she asked, voice thick.

"Whatever you want," he replied.

She moved to lie down, not even bothering to get up and pull the bedspread back. Taylor walked to the bench at the foot of the bed and grabbed a blanket to drape over her tiny body. She pulled it up to her chin and balled herself up, trying to make herself as small as possible.

Taylor grabbed a pillow and was about to lay himself down on the floor, like he always did when she would spend the night, when he heard her barely audible question:

"Lay with me?"

Taylor hesitated, but only for a second before he climbed in next to her, laying on his back while she continued to lay in a tight ball on her side. She was tensed up, he could tell, because all of her weight wasn't pressed down onto the mattress. He sighed to himself and reached over, coaxing her over to him until her head was resting on his shoulder and he had an arm securely around hers. Only then did she relax and get anywhere near sleep. And with her safely tucked away into his shoulder where no one could hurt her or confuse her further, Taylor was a few blinks away from sleep himself.


	4. Chapter 4

four - hey, darling.

When Taylor woke up at around 10 the next morning, it was to an empty bed. He got up groggily and stumbled his way into the bathroom, not really thinking twice about it. Hayley always managed to wake up and leave before he could even get comfortable with her presence.

He washed his face quickly and padded his way back into his room and over to his bedroom door, thoughts of Fruity Pebbles and ice cold milk floating around his head. When he came out, he saw his older brother sitting at the kitchen island, munching away at his own bowl of cereal while he flipped idly through a guitar magazine.

"Where's Mom?" he asked Justin as he reached for the stack of letters on the counter. Bill, bill, junk letter, junk letter. He tossed the pile to the side; nothing new from his dad.

"She went grocery shopping with Hayley," Justin said, tipping his bowl up to his mouth so he could drink the milk. Taylor froze. With Hayley? He hadn't exactly told anyone in his family about the impromptu slumber parties he'd been having with the girl; partly because she was always gone before anyone figure out she had been there and partly because it would have been really awkward.

"By the way, nice job, sneaking a girl in here. I've tried before, and it's nowhere near as easy as you made it look," Justin smirked, getting up to take his bowl over to the sink. As soon as he got up, the front door opened, and Mrs. York stepped in lugging about 4 bags of seemingly heavy groceries.

"A little help, boys," she called. "Two tiny girls can't carry in all the groceries."

Taylor got to his feet and headed towards to door. As he tried to exit, he almost collided with the short girl lugging 3 bags of her own. He reached out to retrieve them from her when he noticed her hair.

The normally yellow-blonde girl stood in front of him with pale orange hair, her now too-long bangs pushed to the side. On anyone else, he would have thought it looked weird, but it just made her green eyes all the more beautiful.

She chuckled a bit and handed him two of the three bags, using her now free hand to pull at a piece of her hair.

"I needed a change," she said.

3 hours later, the two were lounging in Taylor's room, him seated on the bench at the foot of the bed trying to put finishing touches on a song they had been working on, while she laid with her torso hanging off the side of the bed, big Skullcandy headphones framing her face. Every so often, Taylor would look over to her and marvel. Only she could take a risk as big as orange hair and make it look amazing.

The boy shook his head, and set his guitar back on its stand. He'd work on the song later, since Hayley didn't seem to be in any rush to get it done. He opted instead for climbing up onto the bed next to the bottom half of her body and leaning on his elbows to look over the side of the bed. Undoubtedly, all the blood was rushing fast to her brain, but she didn't seem to be making any move to flip herself upright. She had her hands behind her head and was softly humming the lyrics to a Panic! At The Disco song Taylor vaguely recognized.

Taylor was just about to ask her what song when she unexpectedly flipped herself upright. The look in her eyes was a strange one, and Taylor thought maybe she was going to kiss him again, when she suddenly started tickling him.

Now, no one besides his close immediate family and the girl next to him knew that Taylor was incredibly ticklish on his back. And she seemed to be using this knowledge to her advantage, because he was desperately giggling and trying to wriggle away from her within seconds.

He pulled himself up so that he was on his knees, and she was still trying to reach around him to get to his back. "No, you don't," he said, and reached to grab her wrists. He got them and put them together in one of his hands before he reached towards her and began tickling her tummy with the other. She was giggling and writhing before he even touched her, knowing what was coming. Though she was small, she was strong for her size, and she wrestled one of her wrists from the boy's grip and resumed her own tickling.

And just like that, they were in an all out tickling war, both of them nothing but giggles and laughs. It was a relief from the stress and confusion of the previous day. As a matter of fact, it was almost like the events of the day before had been completely forgotten, like they had been washed away down the sink with the dye in the girl's hair.

10 minutes later, the war ended, and the two lay side by side on the floor, panting lightly. Taylor's arm had somehow ended up behind the girl's neck, and she was using it like a cushion of sorts. Taylor lifted the hand up to play with her orange hair.

"Why orange?" he asked. Not that he was complaining; somehow, orange suited the girl. But he'd been wondering since he saw her why she had chosen such an odd color.

The girl simply shrugged and reached up a hand to grab the one of his that was playing in her hair. "I have a feeling the next few months of my life are gonna be really weird. So I needed something weird to match."

She then smiled at him, a smile he thought he might never see again after how sad she had looked the day before. He had to return the smile, and he did, in earnest.

They had been so content, smiling and looking and holding hands, that they hadn't even heard the door open.

"Why are you on the floor?"

Taylor scrambled to stand up, like he had been caught doing something wrong, but then realized that his brother probably already thought Hayley and Taylor had hooked up the night before.

"Is there a reason you're in here?" Taylor asked, looking down to see Hayley sitting cross legged, still on the floor.

Justin shook his head, dismissing his younger brother's weird actions with a wave of his hand.

"I'm just here because Mom wants to head to Chili's for lunch and would like to know if you and your orange haired friend would care to join us."

Taylor rolled his eyes and looked back down at the girl. "You up for some Chili's?"

Hayley looked surprised, like she hadn't expected to be invited along. Taylor remembered that she didn't really get to go out much; her mom still wasn't all right in the head. Most of the time, the girl had to cook for herself. She looked up to Taylor and nodded, with a smile on her face.

"We're coming."


	5. Chapter 5

The four of them arrived at Chili's about 40 minutes later, Hayley having scurried around Taylor's room trying to find something of his that fit her. When Taylor had chuckled at her and asked why she didn't just wear what she had on, she had scoffed at him.

"Taylor, we're going to a restaurant. I can't wear something I've been wearing two days in a row, that's disgusting."

So as they stepped out of Mrs. York's car, Hayley was wearing one of Taylor's plain old gray tshirts and her black hoodie, her bag slung over her shoulder as well. Taylor laughed to himself when he realized that the girl most likely had her camera stuffed away in the bag. Why she felt she needed it for a trip to Chili's was beyond him, but he didn't question her on it.

They got in and got seated rather quickly, considering there weren't many people in the restaurant in the mid-afternoon. Mrs. York and Hayley slid into the booth opposite each other and Taylor slid in next to his friend, leaving his brother to sit next to their mother.

As soon as they were settled, Hayley reached into her bag and pulled out the infamous polaroid camera, pushing it across the table toward Justin.

"Take a picture of us," she stated bluntly, throwing an arm around Taylor's shoulders and pulling him over to her.

Taylor looked to her curiously, wondering why she wanted a polaroid of them in Chili's. But before he could, Justin had scooped up the camera and aimed it at them.

"Aw. Don't you two look cute," he smirked, looking through the camera. "Smile and say 'Justin is a guitar god.'"

Neither of them obliged and took to giving the camera bland looks instead. Justin lowered the camera and made a face, grabbing out the polaroid and shaking it.

"Well aren't you two rays of sunshine," he commented.

Taylor could do nothing but roll his eyes, because their waiter had chosen that moment to appear.

"Hey guys, I'm Chad, I'll be your waiter today," the guy stated, handing each of them menus. Taylor looked him up and down. He was rather tall, with a low haircut and a tattoo sleeve that Taylor found really cool. Actually, the guy looked too cool to be working as a waiter at Chili's, but he smiled and did his job nonetheless.

"You guys can take your time deciding, but I'll just bring you guys your drinks?" he said, pulling a small pad and pencil from one of the pockets on his apron. They went around the table and stated their drinks, Hayley being last and asking simply for a glass of water. Chad wrote it down and smiled up at her.

"Nice hair, by the way," he told her. "Orange suits you."

Hayley chuckled a bit and ducked her head, a light blush tinting her cheeks. "Thanks," she said, looking up through her lashes at the guy. "It was really a knee-jerk decision. I got bored," she stated.

The guy leaned forward, across Taylor; which at that point, it was like he and his family hadn't even existed to the waiter.

"Well. Since you seem to...try new things when you're bored, you should give me a call. You know, next time you're bored." He smiled after he finished, slipping a piece of paper he had pulled from his apron pocket across the table to her.

Taylor rolled his eyes. Seriously? This guy kept slips with his number on them in his pockets? Who even does that? There's no way Hayley would fall for that.

He looked over to the girl incredulously as she grabbed the slip of paper and smiled at it in her hand. "I'll think about it," she spoke up to him, and Taylor almost choked on his spit when he saw that she..._winked_.

Really? She was sitting there _flirting _with their waiter when, not even 24 hours ago, she had been kissing Taylor, talking about how she hadn't wanted to lose him. Excuse him for thinking that meant that maybe she had...felt something more for him.

He sat back against the booth and let his eyes trail away from the girl who was just sitting there smiling at the piece of paper still clutched in her hands. He let his eyes trail a little too far, though, when he looked to his brother and saw the amused expression on his face. Almost as if he wanted to laugh. Taylor aimed a kick at him under the table but missed completely, kicking air instead. He huffed back and crossed his arms across his chest.

The rest of the time in the restaurant was spent in near silence, the only people trying to make conversation being Justin; who was just making obnoxious jokes referring to the fact that Hayley had just picked up a guy when they had all simply been going out for lunch; and Mrs. York, who had apparently missed the entire encounter between Hayley and Chad and was earnestly trying to make conversation. Hayley seemed to be too in thought about the fact that she now had a number in her pocket, and Taylor was just annoyed with everything.

After agonizingly slow service (for Taylor at least; he swore, if Chad shot Hayley another smile or pointed look, he was going to trip him when he bustled back over), they all piled into the car, Taylor sitting as close to the door and as far away from Hayley as he could.

Now that she wasn't swooning over their waiter, Hayley noticed Taylor's pointed coldness towards her and she scooted over silently in the backseat.

"What's up with Button?" she asked quietly, resurfacing the nickname she knew he hated to try and get some kind of response from him. All she recieved was a slight side glance and then he was glaring out the window again.

Hayley frowned, because she really expected him to get over whatever was up quickly. She scooted even closer, her side pressing against his and she poked his cheek repeatedly.

"Seriously, T, what's wrong?" she questioned again, and Taylor huffed and turned to face her.

"Oh, I don't know, the fact that you were just flirting your ass off with our faceless waiter right in front of me?" he said, quietly so his brother and mother didn't hear in the front of the car, but angrily so that she understood that he was, well...angry.

Hayley frowned and scooted back over a bit. "I don't get it. Why would that make you mad?" she asked.

Taylor just stared at her blankly, because _had she really just asked that_?

"Do you...not remember last night?" he asked her accusingly. "When you all but threw yourself at me?"

He knew his words were harsh, and that he was really overreacting about this and acting like a serious girl, but he had right to. He liked the girl a lot; stupidly so, and the fact that she could kiss him one minute and then openly flirt with the first guy to compliment her was confusing as all get out. And he voiced just this, hearing the venom in his words and then regretting it immediately when he saw the girl's reaction.

She had been retracting farther away from him as he had shot the accusations at her, shrinking back into the car seat and trying to will the tears away from her eyes. But she couldn't, because as Taylor whisper yelled at her he sounded _so much like Josh _and it scared her, because she couldn't lose Taylor, he was what she needed right now. Next to Josh, he was one of the first real things she loved since her father died, and now that she'd lost Josh, Taylor was it. He was everything right now and she had just screwed up and made him angry with her and she couldn't take it. She looked forward and noticed that Mrs. York was turning into their neighborhood.

"Could you take me home," Hayley spoke up, voice already thick as she thought about what a fuck up she was.


	6. Chapter 6

For the second day in a row, Hayley was sitting on her bed crying her guts out, but this time for a different boy.

She couldn't believe she'd actually been that oblivious; to not realize that, yeah, given the fact that she had initiated the kiss they'd shared the night before, that flirting with their Chili's waiter would have possibly confused Taylor. It was just that…Chad was a catch, she assumed. He was attractive, and the tattoos he had made him seem slightly badass. But he'd also been nice, smiling and flirting right along with her.

And the fact of the matter was, she was still contemplating calling the boy, despite how angry it might make Taylor.

Her brain was a strange thing. She rationalized that, maybe if she were to start something with Chad, maybe Taylor's feelings would revert themselves. Maybe he'd go back to being strictly her best friend, the kiss she'd given him in her time of doubt forgotten.

She tutted at herself. That's likely. She had really screwed everything up with that kiss, she could tell now. But, really, she didn't regret it. She liked Taylor; she really did. He just seemed to get her. Get when she needed a hug and some consoling, get when she needed space. He could cheer her up and make her laugh with one simple action. He really was her best friend and to anyone else, it would seem like them getting together, starting a relationship would be the right way to go. But her mind was a strange thing.

So far in her life, every male she'd become close to had left her in some way. It seemed that once she spoke those three words to someone, they were bound to leave. And she couldn't lose Taylor; he was her everything right now, holding her together like glue. And if she dared let their relationship grow, let herself become closer to the boy, speak those dreaded words over their relationship, she feared she would lose him as well.

Her tears had stopped and she sat on the edge of her bed, staring at herself in the mirror on her closet door. Her eyes were rimmed red, her cheeks and nose tinted red. Her hair hung limply around her hair, lifeless like she felt. Her face turned up in a grimace. Her hair had been irritating her lately. The naturally blonde locks had annoyed her to no end, and after her bitter breakup, her hair did nothing but remind her of the time spent with the other boy, because he'd always complimented the yellow mane.

So when she'd woken up at around 8 that morning, she had untangled herself from Taylor's grip carefully and climbed her way out of the window, heading back to her house. She'd gotten there fairly quickly, not bothering climbing through her window, considering her mother wouldn't really care that she had been gone anyway.

She opened the front door into the living room, spotting her mother asleep on the couch. Sighing inwardly to herself, she made her way down the short hall and into her bedroom, flicking the light off and tossing her keys onto the bed, heading for the bathroom. The dye was still in the medicine cabinet where she had put it. She grabbed the box and read off the directions, hoping to make quick work of it all so she could get back to the boy's house before he realized she had left. Normally she would have stayed at her own home, for fear of being found there without permission, but something was different today. She genuinely just wanted to spend time with the boy.

About an hour later, she was drying her hair out, happy with the orange tint of it. Orange seemed to suit her better, she thought.

But now, as she sat staring blankly at herself, she wanted to rip all of it out of her scalp. It just hung there, a good two inches past her shoulders. It was too long, too much, and her next moves were hasty and unplanned as she grabbed the scissors from her desk and grabbed a handful of her hair, cutting it jaggedly. And at first she paused, wondering what am I doing? But then she looked to the floor, and saw her hair laying there; dead, apart from her, like she was cutting away her problems, all the baggage left on her life and she grabbed more handfuls, cutting and cutting until her hair was just barely touching her shoulders. She stood in front of the mirror, panting slightly. Then she collapsed to the ground, still watching herself, wondering when she had let herself spiral so far down.


	7. Chapter 7

For the second day in a row, Taylor had been pacing his room, mixed thoughts of Hayley and of Chad and of himself spitting venom at the girl in the backseat of his mother's Sorento swirling around in his head. If he was being completely honest, he really hadn't meant half of the things he had said. Well, he had at the moment, because he had been jealous; painfully so, and seeing her flirting with another guy had caused his anger at the fact that she wasn't his to bubble over and spill onto the girl's feelings.

He grabbed at his head, pulling the red beanie off and tossing it across the room as he sat down onto the edge of his bed. This was really doing his head in. It had been since the girl had asked his mother to take her home. The frown that had been etched onto his face had immediately softened to nothing when he saw the first few tears spill over onto her cheeks. She had wiped at them angrily, folding her arms and choosing to stare out the window, mirroring the position he had been in only a few minutes previous. He had wanted to say something, wanted to apologize, but his words weren't working because he hated seeing her cry and now he was the reason and he wanted to pull all his hair out for saddening the girl.

He took his head out of his hands and glanced over at his phone for about the 20th time in 5 minutes. He knew it was probably unlikely that she would call him right now; she usually chose to hold her grudge for at least a couple of days, to torture him he guessed.

What he didn't expect was for his window to slowly slide open, and for the girl on his mind to timidly step through.

He got to his feet immediately, not knowing if he was in terms good enough to go over and hug her. She had changed while she had been home, her black skinnies replaced by blue ones. His gray shirt was still on her top half, topped again by her black hoodie, hood over her head. For the second time in two days, she stood in his room; eyes rimmed red and looking down at the floor, face distraught.

She took a deep breath and looked up to him, pulling her hood off to reveal her newly chopped off hair.

Taylor frowned and took a step closer to her. "Did…you do that?", he asked her timidly.

Her eyes flicked away briefly as she gave him one curt nod.

"Why?"

Hayley sniffed. "Because I needed to."

He shook his head and walked forward, not caring about keeping his space anymore and he put his hands on her forearms, trying to follow her shifting eyes.

"No. No, you didn't," he said firmly. She stopped trying to avoid his eyes and exhaled, sort of deflating as she looked him straight in the face. Her eyes were swimming again.

"Hayley, what are you doing?"

He meant so many things by that question; and he knew that she understood all of them when she gave a choked laugh that sounded more than anything like a sob. She looked to him again, eyes full to the brim of tears that spilled over hot and fast. He closed his eyes and pulled her to his chest, into the hug he had wanted to give her since she had stepped in.

She didn't seem to protest, her hands sliding up his back to rest on his shoulders as she cried into his shoulders. His eyes remained closed and he almost wanted to laugh at how painfully similar today was becoming.

He pulled back from the hug after about 2 minutes, holding her at arms length again and looking into her eyes. She stared back and then suddenly dropped to the floor, shuffling back until her back was against the wall. She tucked her legs up to her chin, wrapping her arms around them.

"I have cried more in the past two days than I have in the past 2 years. And I hate it."

She looked back up to him, and there were so many feelings behind those green eyes, he almost began to feel overwhelmed. He moved over to sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and feeling his stomach settle when she tucked her head into his neck.

It always calmed him when she was with him; in his arms, safe, away from all the hurt and confusion that was life. He wanted to shield her from it, had since he had met the girl at 13, because she was so beautiful, inside and out, and he knew that if life had its go on her, it would tear her apart. I mean, look at what had happened in the past 2 days alone. She was breaking right in front of his eyes and he hated it. He longed for time to turn back, for it to be last week again. For them to be back at the fair, for her to be jumping up and down at the fact that her mom had gotten her…

"Oh my gosh," he suddenly said. Hayley picked her head up and looked at him quizzically.

"What?"

"Guess what we totally forgot about?", he asked her, getting up quickly to walk across the room to his desk. He retrieved the two slips of paper and walked back over, dropping to the ground with a sigh and fanning them out in his hand.

She gasped and moved to her knees, bouncing much like she had when her mother had first given her the ticket.

"Coldplay, oh my gosh!" she practically yelled, and he laughed and shushed her, because it was 10 o'clock and his mother and brother were asleep right up the hall. Her mother had surprised her with Hayley's ticket the week before, and she had rushed to his window, giving him her ticket for safe keeping, because she wasn't the most organized of people and she probably would have died if she lost it in her hurricane of a room.

She regained her composure, but the excitement was still visible on her tear streaked face.

"That's next week, isn't it?" she whisper yelled, still bouncing; only now she was crouching on the balls of her feet.

"That would be correct," Taylor smirked, stretching his legs out straight in front of him.

"Oh my God," she exclaimed, throwing herself down to the ground so that her head was resting in his lap. Then she flailed around a bit, resting with her hands over her eyes.

Taylor chuckled and reached down to move her fingers so he could see her eyes, and sure enough, there was no sign of the sorrow he had seen before. Instead, it was replaced with sheer excitement.

"You're a weird one, Williams," he stated.

She laughed and reached up to flick his nose. "You love it, Button."


	8. Chapter 8 part 1

The week leading up to the Coldplay concert went along without a hitch.

It seemed that once the girl was reminded of the event, any emotion other than excitement was wiped from her mind.

The concert itself was amazing, but…what else was there to expect? The music was amazing, the crowd was alive with energy, and the smile that lit up Hayley's face the entire time made everything inside Taylor light up along with it. He loved that smile.

But now it was Sunday night, the last Sunday night of their winter vacation, and Hayley was slowly spiralling back into doom.

Tomorrow was Monday. And Monday meant school.

Believe it or not, school wasn't Hayley's favorite thing in the world. Crazy right? But, the fact of the matter was, she didn't have that many friends. She had Taylor, of course, and before, she'd had Josh. Most of the girls hated her; tiny little blonde girl in colored jeans and band tees, hanging out with two of the most attractive guys in the school? She didn't blame them.

But now that she thought about it, none of the popular girls' empty threats bothered her as much as the treatment she was going to receive from her now ex-boyfriend. The fact that she would have to walk up to her locker, which was right in-between Taylor and Josh's, and not be able to look over to her left and see a warm smile and an open hand ready to clasp hers. She wanted to curl up and vomit.

But there'd be none of that. She'd just have to get over it, right?

Hayley sighed to herself and rolled over, trying to get at least a bit of sleep before the next day.

"So, how was your break? As eventful as I think it was?"

Jeremy nudged Taylor in the ribs a few times with his elbow as the bus went over a rough patch of road and jostled everyone around a bit.

"What do you mean?" Taylor asked, rubbing his eyes. He hadn't slept all that well the night before, thoughts of the little orange (well, it was more a brownish color now, considering the dye was faded) haired girl swirling around his mind, wondering how she would cope with being back at the hellhole that was Franklin High.

"Come on, I heard about Josh and Hayley. And I know how close you are with her…I figured you would have made your move while she was still in the mourning period." The grin on the senior's face was unmistakable.

Taylor rolled his eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"T, come on! A toddler could see that you've got a crazy middle school crush on Hayley. I've just been waiting for her and Josh to end it so you both could get your heads out of your asses and just get together already."

"She's my friend, Jerm. And the breakup was really nasty, I wouldn't take advantage of her while she's still hurt."

The bus pulled to a stop in front of the school and everyone moved to stand, their sluggish movements a telltale sign that they wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Well," Jeremy started, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "If you want her, which I know you do, you better do something soon. Because I can name about 5 guys who would kill for her."

"Mom, I'm leaving for school!" Hayley yelled, grabbing an apple off the counter and a water bottle from the fridge, not expecting an answer from her mother as she darted out the door. The girl had thrown her alarm clock across the room when it went off and overslept, missing the bus as a result. She had just woken up 10 minutes ago, tossing on a Minor Threat t-shirt, a pair of blue and dark blue skinnies and her gray and blue Nikes. Now she was up to the task of jogging to school, and she silently thanked the Gods for letting her live 5 blocks away.

15 minutes later, she was jogging up the school's lawn just as the first late bell was ringing. She ran through the doors, tossing away her apple core into one of the two trash cans, thanking the Gods yet again that her locker and first class were right along the main hall. Climb the stairs and rounding the corner, she collided head on with a taller body.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was late and I was just trying to get to class, sorry," she began chanting as she reached over to lift up the books and hand them back to their owner. But, upon looking at them, she noticed that she was the owner, the Chemistry book covered in miscellaneous stickers and doodles in her handwriting, and the notebook carrying a magazine cutout of Jimmy Eat World. She looked up to see the smiling face of Taylor, adjusting his glasses and beanie.

"You waited for me?" she asked, replacing one of her straps on her shoulder. Taylor placed a hand on her shoulder, a consoling look masking his face. "Friends don't let friends go to class late."

Hayley rolled her eyes and laughed, letting Taylor guide her by her shoulders up the hall to chemistry class. She then smiled to herself, wondering why she thought today would be bad.

By lunch, Hayley couldn't even remember why she had dreaded today. It was stupid of her, really; every moment she had spent with Taylor the past two weeks had been a blast, so why would school be any different? They shared 5 of their 7 classes, and it seemed Taylor had tried extra hard to make the girl laugh and have a great time (while still getting their work done, of course).

Now they were sitting at a lunch table with one of Hayley's only girl friends, Dakotah, and Jeremy, Taylor's senior friend.

"Seriously though, this chicken tastes like ass," Hayley said, throwing the chicken finger back onto the tray and reaching for her juice bottle.

"That, my dear Hayles, is why I take the time to pack a lunch every morning," Dakotah smiled, pausing to take a bite of her sandwich.

"Salivating, Rae. Give me a bite," Hayley said, leaning over and making chomping motions at the blonde girl's hands, giggling when she swats at her nose.

"So why the sudden change?" Dakotah asked, reaching over to grab some of Hayley's chopped and colored hair.

"I don't know. Blonde was boring. I'm ready for some change in my life," she said, reaching across the table and dipping her finger into Taylor's mashed potatoes, sucking them off her index finger before saying, "Oops, missed my tray," and winking to the boy.

He rolled his eyes and tutted to himself, and then groaned a bit at the elbow that was planted into his kidney. He looked over to Jeremy with an annoyed look.

"What?" he whispered, hoping he sounded agitated, but feeling like he sounded exasperated.

"Taylor, come with me back through the snack line, I wanna see if they put more chips out." Jeremy announced to the table, and when the girls did no more than glance over to them before re-immersing themselves into their own conversation, Jeremy grabbed Taylor by his upper arm and dragged him away from the table. When they rounded the corner outside the cafeteria and into the empty hallway, Jeremy turned him around.

"You're turning into a bully," Taylor whined, rubbing his arm.

"Sorry, bro," Jeremy said, patting the younger boy's shoulder. "But this is just getting plain painful to watch."

"Jeremy, I am not going to ask her out any time soon, if that's what you're getting at," Taylor said, leaning his back against the wall.

"No, you can't just ask her out of nowhere, that'd be dumb," Jeremy said, leaning himself against the opposite wall. "How about we do a group thing? Maybe, go to the movies, you two and me and Dakotah? Or bowling or something, I don't know. That way, it's not a direct date, and you two can continue moving at your…painstakingly slow pace," the older boy winced out the last words.

Taylor was quieted for a while, mulling over the idea. It didn't sound half bad, actually. And the last time he'd been bowling with Hayley and Josh, he'd spent a majority of his time picking at her for bowling with the bumpers up. He thought maybe he should try and redeem himself.

"Fine," Taylor sighed, "we'll go bowling tonight, I guess." He leaned up and looked around the corner and back into the cafeteria towards the table where Hayley and Dakotah sat. The two were talking animatedly, Hayley smiling and bouncing around, looking happier than a kid in a candy store. It made Taylor smile.

Tonight would be a good night.


End file.
